Anniversary Gifts by Year

Anniversary gifts by year follow two main lists. The traditional list names a material for each year, from paper for the first to gold for the fiftieth. The modern list names finished goods instead, from clocks to diamonds. British lists match the traditional American one in most years and differ in a few. None of them is official: they are customs, revised many times.

Anniversary gifts by year: the chart

The British column follows Debrett's, with variants from other British lists in brackets. Ivory, coral and fur appear on these lists for historical reasons; trade in elephant ivory is banned or tightly restricted in many countries, and the pages for those years suggest alternatives.

To see one year at a time, with gift ideas at three price levels, use the tool.

Where do anniversary gift lists come from?

The custom began with two anniversaries, the twenty-fifth and the fiftieth. According to TIME, the solid evidence starts in 18th-century Germany, where friends might give a wife a silver wreath after twenty-five years of marriage and a gold one after fifty. Claims that the practice goes back to ancient Rome or the Middle Ages are common, but the magazine found it hard to come up with actual instances from either.

The idea was still foreign to English readers in 1811, when a London magazine doubted they would comprehend a "silver wedding." By the middle of the century it had crossed over and grown. An American almanac of 1859 listed paper at one year, wood at five, tin at ten, silver at twenty-five, gold at fifty and diamond at seventy-five.

In Britain, Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable gave much the same set in 1895: wooden, tin, crystal, china, silver, golden and diamond weddings, named "from the nature of the gifts suitable for each respective anniversary." Its diamond wedding fell at sixty years.

When Emily Post published Etiquette in 1922, her list had eight entries: paper (1), wood (5), tin (10), crystal (15), china (20), silver (25), gold (50) and diamond (75). She treated the early ones lightly, writing that paper, wooden and tin presents "are seldom anything but jokes," while "silver is always serious, and the golden wedding a quite sacred event."

So the famous materials for most individual years, such as cotton, leather, bronze and lace, are newer than they look. They were added in the 20th century, and early versions disagreed: a reference book of 1910 gave straw for the second year, candy for the third and leather for the fourth.

Traditional vs. modern anniversary gifts

The traditional list is a scale of materials that become more valuable as a marriage lasts longer. It starts with things that cost almost nothing and ends in precious metals and gems.

The modern list came from the jewelry trade. TIME reports that the American National Retail Jewelers Association took up the question at a meeting in 1922, where it was noted that wooden and tin anniversaries came far ahead of golden ones. Over the following years the trade produced a uniform list with heavy emphasis on precious stones and metals. The date usually given for it is 1937.

The list usually printed as the modern one today has a gift for every year. It names objects more often than materials (clocks, appliances, a desk set, watches) and brings jewelry forward: diamond jewelry at ten years, where the traditional list has tin. It also reuses traditional materials in other years. Wood is traditional for the fifth year and modern for the sixth; leather is traditional for the third and modern for the ninth.

Neither list outranks the other. Many couples pick whichever entry suits the person, or combine the two.

How British anniversary lists differ

Less than is often claimed. The list printed by Debrett's, the British etiquette publisher, matches the American traditional list in most years. The differences:

• Year 6 is sugar in Britain and iron in the United States.
• Years 8 and 9 add pottery to bronze, and willow to pottery.
• Year 10 is tin alone; aluminum is an American addition.
• Years 1, 2 and 4 vary between British lists. Debrett's gives paper, cotton, and flowers and fruit, as in the United States. Some older British lists give cotton first and paper second, and linen or silk for the fourth year.

The modern list is an American creation and has no separate British version.

Anniversary gemstones by year

Jewelers also publish lists of anniversary gems. The Gemological Institute of America, whose list is in the chart above, says plainly that "there is no single authoritative wedding anniversary gemstone list" and that it compiled its own from similar lists.

Several of these gems are also birthstones, among them garnet, amethyst, diamond, emerald, ruby and sapphire. If you are choosing between an anniversary gem and your spouse's own stone, our birthstones by month chart has all twelve.

The milestone anniversaries

A few years have names of their own.

• Silver, 25 years, and gold, 50 years, are the original pair and the most widely celebrated.
• Pearl, 30 years, and ruby, 40 years, are standard on both American and British lists.
• Diamond is sixty years on most lists today and in Brewer in 1895, but seventy-five in Emily Post and in the 1859 almanac. Debrett's links the sixty-year diamond to Queen Victoria's Diamond Jubilee, which marked sixty years on the throne.
• Platinum is used for seventy years.

In the United Kingdom, a couple can receive a message from the King for a sixtieth, sixty-fifth or seventieth anniversary, and for every anniversary after that. According to the Royal Household, the message has to be applied for.

How to use the list

• Treat it as a prompt. The material is a starting point for an idea, not a requirement. A handwritten letter is a paper gift; so is a pair of plane tickets.
• Match the level to the year. Early gifts were meant to be small. The scale rises on its own.
• Mix the lists. A clock and a card cover both first-year lists. A tin of notes and a small diamond cover both tenth-year ones.
• Skip it when it does not fit. If the year's material is something your spouse would not use or would object to, choose the gem, the other list or something else entirely.