The traditional 5 year anniversary gift is wood, and the modern alternative is silverware. The British list agrees on wood, so the fifth is one of the few early years with no dispute. It is also the first milestone: the "wooden wedding" was being celebrated by name in the 19th century, long before most other years had a material at all.
What is the 5 year anniversary gift?
| List | 5th anniversary gift |
|---|---|
| Traditional (US) | Wood |
| Modern (US) | Silverware |
| British | Wood |
Pick a year in the tool to compare the lists and see ideas at three price levels.
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Why is wood the fifth anniversary gift?
Wood is one of the original entries. According to TIME, an American almanac of 1859 already listed a wooden wedding at five years, alongside paper at one, tin at ten, silver at twenty-five and gold at fifty. In Britain, Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable recorded in 1895 that "the 5th anniversary is called the Wooden wedding" and explained that the names come "from the nature of the gifts suitable for each respective anniversary."
Emily Post kept wood in the list of eight anniversaries she printed in Etiquette in 1922. She did not take it very seriously. Paper, wooden and tin wedding presents, she wrote, "are seldom anything but jokes," and she advised against inviting anyone but family and close friends, since guests were expected to bring a present.
The usual explanation today is that wood stands for strength and deep roots, a marriage grown solid like a tree. The old sources do not say so. What they show is a scale of value: paper, wood, tin, then crystal, china, silver and gold.
Why is the modern gift silverware?
The list usually printed as the modern one grew out of the longer lists that American jewelers and retailers worked on in the 1920s and 1930s, and it favors things a household would keep. For the fifth year it gives silverware.
In everyday American use the word means cutlery of any metal, so the gift does not have to be sterling. A well-made stainless set counts. So do a cake server, salad servers or a pair of spoons engraved with a date.
Wood gift ideas by budget
Prices vary too much to list, so these are grouped by level.
Budget-friendly
- A cutting board or serving board, engraved underneath with your date.
- A wooden picture frame holding a photo from each of the five years.
- A set of wooden spoons or salad servers.
- A young tree or a bonsai, which is wood that keeps growing.
Mid-range
- A jewelry box, a watch stand or a valet tray.
- A chess set, a backgammon board or a wooden puzzle.
- A turned wooden bowl from a local woodworker.
- A woodworking or spoon-carving class for two.
- A cutlery set for the modern list.
Splurge
- A piece of furniture: a bench, a bookshelf, a rocking chair or a headboard.
- A musical instrument, such as a ukulele or a guitar, for a spouse who plays or wants to learn.
- A few nights in a cabin in the woods.
Wood takes engraving well, so even an everyday object can carry a date, a pair of initials or the coordinates of the place you married. Ask the maker which wood was used; a board in walnut, oak or olive wood says more with a line about where it came from.
Ideas for her, for him and for the two of you
- For her: a ring dish or jewelry stand, a wooden-handled set of garden or kitchen tools, an easel, or a watch with a wooden face or strap.
- For him: a desk organizer, a wooden pen, a record crate, a board for the bread he has started baking, or sunglasses with wooden frames.
- For the two of you: a tree planted in the yard, a porch swing, a handmade sign for the house, or a table you choose together.
If wood is not their thing
- The modern list. Cutlery or serving pieces, which get used at every anniversary dinner from now on.
- Paper. It comes from wood, and a book or a print is an honest stretch of the theme.
- Sapphire. The Gemological Institute of America lists sapphire as the fifth-anniversary gem, with the caution that no single authoritative list exists. Sapphire is also the September birthstone; our guide to sapphire covers its colors and care.
These are customs, not obligations. Five years is worth marking in whatever way suits you both.
What to write in a fifth anniversary card
Three short examples to adapt:
- "Five years. Solid as oak and still growing. Happy anniversary."
- "Half a decade in, and you are still the one I want to tell everything to."
- "Five years of roots. Looking forward to the next rings."
Before wood came fruit and flowers, for the fourth anniversary; next is iron, for the sixth, and the next big milestone is tin, at ten years. The whole chart is in gifts for every anniversary year.