The traditional 14 year anniversary gift is ivory, and the modern alternative is gold jewelry. British lists give ivory too. Real ivory is not something to buy now: trade in elephant ivory is banned or tightly restricted in many countries. People who keep the tradition treat ivory as a color, or use the modern list, the anniversary gem or an elephant-themed gift instead.
What is the 14 year anniversary gift?
| List | 14th anniversary gift |
|---|---|
| Traditional (US) | Ivory |
| Modern (US) | Gold jewelry |
| British | Ivory |
The lists are printed here as they stand, because that is what any chart of the year shows. The traditional entry is a historical one.
Pick a year in the tool to compare the lists and see ideas at three price levels.
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Why is ivory on the list, and why not give it?
The fourteenth year was added in the 20th century. Emily Post's list in Etiquette in 1922 went from tin at ten years to crystal at fifteen, and the years between were filled in afterward. When they were, ivory was an ordinary luxury material, used for piano keys, combs, brush handles and carved ornaments. Nobody recorded why it was given the fourteenth year.
The world has changed since. Demand for ivory drove the killing of elephants on a vast scale, and governments responded with bans. In the United Kingdom the Ivory Act 2018, in force since June 2022, makes it an offense to buy or sell items made of or containing elephant ivory, apart from a few narrow exemptions, and the rules were later extended to other species. Many other countries restrict the trade as well.
So the advice is simple: do not buy ivory as a gift, whether new, old or described as antique. The theme survives as a color and as a reason to think about elephants.
Why is the modern gift gold jewelry?
The list usually printed as the modern one grew out of work by American jewelers in the 1920s and 1930s, and its entries in these years are nearly all jewelry. Gold jewelry at fourteen is the grandest of the run so far.
Gold on the traditional list waits for the fiftieth anniversary. A fourteenth-anniversary piece can be small, and it gives you an easy answer to a difficult year.
Gift ideas by budget
Prices vary too much to list, so these are grouped by level.
Budget-friendly
- A donation to an elephant conservation charity in your spouse's name, with the certificate in a card.
- Ivory-colored candles, a cream ceramic vase or a set of off-white napkins.
- An elephant figure in wood, ceramic or brass.
- A bouquet in cream and white.
Mid-range
- A gold-plated or gold-filled chain, bracelet or pair of studs.
- Bedding, a throw or a sweater in ivory or cream.
- A piece of ivory-white porcelain, or a set of bone china cups. Despite the name, bone china is a ceramic.
- A symbolic elephant adoption through a sanctuary, with updates through the year.
- A session with a piano teacher, or tickets to a piano recital, as a nod to the "ivories."
Splurge
- Solid gold jewelry: a necklace, hoops, a signet ring or a watch.
- A new wedding band or an anniversary ring to wear beside the original.
- A trip to see elephants in the wild or at an accredited sanctuary that does not offer rides.
Some materials are sold as substitutes for ivory, including tagua nut, a hard palm seed that carves well, and various resins. They are a legitimate way to get the look, as long as the seller is clear about what the material is.
Ideas for her, for him and for the two of you
- For her: a fine gold chain or a pair of hoops, a cream silk blouse, a tagua-nut pendant, or a framed photograph of elephants by a wildlife photographer.
- For him: a gold tie bar or ring, a cream cable-knit sweater, a chess set with pieces in pale wood or resin, or an elephant adoption in his name.
- For the two of you: matching gold bands, a white-and-cream bedroom refresh, or piano lessons you take together.
If neither theme appeals
- Opal. The Gemological Institute of America lists opal as the fourteenth-anniversary gem, with the caution that no single authoritative list exists. Opal is also an October birthstone; our guide to opal and tourmaline explains how to care for it.
- Next year's theme, early. Crystal, for the fifteenth, is close enough that nobody will object.
- Something of your own. The lists are customs. This year shows that customs can be wrong for their time, and that it is fine to set one aside.
What to write in a fourteenth anniversary card
Three short examples to adapt:
- "Fourteen years. Like an elephant, I remember every one of them. Happy anniversary."
- "Fourteen years in, and you are still worth more than gold to me."
- "No ivory this year. Just my whole heart, again."
Before this came lace, for the thirteenth anniversary; next is the milestone of crystal at fifteen years. The whole chart is in gifts for every anniversary year.