The traditional 6 year anniversary gift is iron in the United States and sugar in Britain, and the modern alternative is wood. This is the year where the American and British lists most clearly part ways. Between them they give you a wide field: cast-iron cookware and wrought-iron garden pieces on one side, chocolates, cakes and baking classes on the other.
What is the 6 year anniversary gift?
| List | 6th anniversary gift |
|---|---|
| Traditional (US) | Iron |
| Modern (US) | Wood |
| British | Sugar |
American lists give iron for the sixth year. Debrett's, the British etiquette publisher, gives sugar, and older British lists agree. Some charts print "iron or sugar" as a single entry; that is two national customs merged into one line.
Pick a year in the tool to compare the lists and see ideas at three price levels.
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Why iron, and why sugar?
Neither is on the oldest lists. When Emily Post printed her list of anniversaries in Etiquette in 1922, it had only eight entries and went straight from wood at five years to tin at ten. Years six to nine were filled in later, as the lists grew to cover every early year, and the United States and Britain filled this one differently.
Sugar does have an older place in the custom. TIME reports that an American almanac of 1859 listed a sugar wedding one month after the ceremony, ahead of the paper wedding at one year.
The usual explanation for iron is strength: a marriage of six years is said to be as solid as the metal. For sugar it is sweetness. Both readings came after the lists and are not documented origins. Iron does fit the overall pattern, though. The early materials become harder and more durable as the years pass, from paper and cotton to leather, wood and metal.
Why is the modern gift wood?
The list usually printed as the modern one grew out of the longer lists that American jewelers and retailers worked on in the 1920s and 1930s. Its sixth year is wood, the same material the traditional list gives for the fifth anniversary. No source explains the repeat. In practice it means that wood is a safe choice two years running.
Gift ideas by budget
Prices vary too much to list, so these are grouped by level.
Budget-friendly
- A small cast-iron skillet, with the first meal cooked in it by you.
- An iron bottle opener, a set of hooks for the hallway, or a trivet.
- A homemade cake or a batch of their favorite cookies. Sugar is the one theme you can bake.
- A box of good chocolates or sweets from a local maker.
Mid-range
- A cast-iron Dutch oven or grill pan. With care these last for decades.
- An iron candle holder, a fire poker set or a door knocker.
- A class for two in baking, chocolate making or cake decorating.
- A tasting menu of desserts at a restaurant they like.
- A wooden game, tray or lamp for the modern list.
Splurge
- A wrought-iron bench, table or arch for the garden.
- A fire pit for the yard.
- A day at a forge making something together; many blacksmiths run beginner sessions.
- A trip built around food, with a pastry course or a chocolate maker on the itinerary.
A word on sweets: check for allergies and for anyone who avoids sugar for health reasons, and choose iron for them instead.
Ideas for her, for him and for the two of you
- For her: a skillet in the size she actually cooks in, an iron plant stand, a set of weights if she lifts, or a box of pastries from the bakery near where you first lived.
- For him: a waffle iron, a set of golf irons if he plays, a cast-iron teapot, or the dessert his family made when he was a child, from the original recipe.
- For the two of you: a fire pit and a bag of marshmallows, a baking class, a wrought-iron house number, or a wooden bench for the porch.
If neither iron nor sugar suits them
- The modern list. Wood, in any form you did not give last year.
- The other country's custom. If iron feels heavy, go British and give sugar, or the reverse.
- Amethyst. The Gemological Institute of America lists amethyst as the sixth-anniversary gem, with the caution that no single authoritative list exists. It is also the February birthstone; our guide to amethyst covers its color and care.
The lists are customs, and they do not agree even with each other. Use whichever version gives you a good idea.
What to write in a sixth anniversary card
Three short examples to adapt:
- "Six years: strong as iron, and still sweet. Happy anniversary."
- "You are the best decision I ever made. Six years and counting."
- "Year six. I would still share my dessert with you, and you know what that means."
Before this came wood, for the fifth anniversary; next is wool or copper, for the seventh. The whole chart is in gifts for every anniversary year.