The traditional 20 year anniversary gift is china, and the modern alternative is platinum. The British list agrees on china. Twenty years is the first anniversary after the list stops naming every year and starts counting in fives, and the china wedding is one of the old, established ones, on record in the 19th century alongside the silver and golden weddings.
What is the 20 year anniversary gift?
| List | 20th anniversary gift |
|---|---|
| Traditional (US) | China |
| Modern (US) | Platinum |
| British | China |
Pick a year in the tool to compare the lists and see ideas at three price levels.
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Why is china the twentieth anniversary gift?
The china wedding is older than most of the list. In Britain, Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable recorded in 1895 that "the 20th anniversary is called the China wedding," and explained that such names come "from the nature of the gifts suitable for each respective anniversary." Emily Post kept china at twenty years in the eight anniversaries she listed in Etiquette in 1922.
In Post's scheme the scale of gifts runs paper, wood, tin, crystal, china, silver, gold, diamond. China comes after crystal and before silver: finer than anything given so far, and not yet a precious metal.
The usual explanation today is that fine china is delicate and beautiful and lasts for generations when handled with care, as a marriage of twenty years has. It is a later reading. The old sources say only that the anniversary is named for the gift.
China also sits on the modern list, far earlier, as the gift for the second anniversary. A couple following both lists will have received cups at two years and can add to them at twenty.
Why is the modern gift platinum?
The list usually printed as the modern one grew out of work by American jewelers in the 1920s and 1930s, and from the tenth year on it is mostly jewelry. Platinum is the rarest metal it names.
Platinum has a second place in the custom. In Britain it is the name used for the seventieth anniversary; the Royal Household refers to a "Platinum (70th)" wedding anniversary among those the King marks with a message. A twentieth-anniversary platinum gift borrows the metal a little early.
Gift ideas by budget
Prices vary too much to list, so these are grouped by level.
Budget-friendly
- A single fine cup and saucer, or a pair of mugs in porcelain.
- A plate painted by you, or by the children, at a ceramics studio.
- A small porcelain dish for rings, or a vase for one stem.
- Afternoon tea at home, served on the good china that usually stays in the cupboard.
Mid-range
- A teapot, a serving platter or a set of bowls from a china maker you both like.
- Replacements for the pieces of the wedding set broken over twenty years.
- A commissioned plate or tile with your names, the date and the place.
- Afternoon tea out, somewhere that does it properly.
- A slim platinum-plated or platinum-accented piece of jewelry.
Splurge
- A full dinner service to replace the one from the wedding.
- A platinum band, pendant or pair of earrings.
- Resetting the engagement stone in platinum, or adding a platinum anniversary band beside it.
- A trip to China, which gave the material its English name.
Ideas for her, for him and for the two of you
- For her: a platinum ring to wear with her wedding band, a porcelain jewelry box, hand-painted espresso cups, or an emerald pendant in the anniversary gem.
- For him: a platinum wedding band to replace a worn one, a porcelain travel-proof tea or coffee set for his desk, or a figure, tile or plate connected to a place or team he loves.
- For the two of you: a new dinner service chosen together, a dinner party for the people who were at the wedding, or a vow renewal with twenty guests.
From children, family and friends: something for the table is the classic choice, such as a platter or a cake stand. A framed wedding photo beside a new one taken this year costs little and is often what a couple keeps.
If china is not their thing
- The modern list. Platinum, or white gold or silver for the same look at a lower level.
- Emerald. The Gemological Institute of America lists emerald as the twentieth-anniversary gem, with the caution that no single authoritative list exists. Emerald is the May birthstone as well; our guide to emerald covers its color and care.
- Other ceramics. Stoneware or handmade pottery suits a couple whose table is more relaxed than formal.
The lists are customs, not rules. Twenty years is a real milestone, and it can be marked however you both like.
What to write in a twentieth anniversary card
Three short examples to adapt:
- "Twenty years, handled with care, and still unbroken. Happy anniversary."
- "Two decades in, and you are still the one I save the good china for."
- "Twenty years ago I said yes. I have been saying it every day since."
Before this came crystal at fifteen years; next is the silver anniversary at twenty-five. The whole chart is in gifts for every anniversary year.