In today’s session of the LOVE Edition, we are discussing why it’s important to date yourself. It hit me one day when I was traveling alone (the ultimate date with yourself) how are we suppose to be in healthy relationships (romantic and friendships) if we don’t know who we truly are? This exercise allows us to tap into being authentic while building a relationship with ourselves. Yes, at first it can be a bit lonely, awkward, scary, and weird. But if we don’t challenge ourselves to push past those initial feelings, we never get to experience the incredible delight of meeting who we are as a person. Such a concept, I know!
Through this exercise, which I will explain in a moment, you’ll discover what truly makes you happy and what you don’t care for. You’ll develop skills that will take you further in life, and become a person who doesn’t need anyone else to validate them. It’s a large step towards being independent and free, which in turn, places you in the best position to develop healthy and whole relationships. So let’s begin!
Why It Is Important To Date Yourself
In summary, it is a way to get to know who you are and treat yourself to the things you love. To some degree, we all know who we are. Some are already pros at this, and to those who are please leave a comment below on how you got there! But to those who are just starting off in discovering your true self, this is a fun exercise to try.
When we date ourselves, we are forced to be alone with our own thoughts, feelings, and company. Like I said earlier, it may feel very uncomfortable and lonely if you’ve never done anything like this before, but the payoff is massive. Being alone in public, doing the things we love by ourselves allows us to hear clearly how we interpret things. We notice easier what makes us truly happy, what makes us smile, what feels good to the soul, what don’t we care for. Learning these important attributes about ourselves helps us develop who we are. We in turn get to build on those strengths, discover what our fears are and work on them, and really know what makes us tick.
In essence, a simple date with ourselves is the begin point of become a whole, independent, work in progress, human being. Plus, it is a kind and loving approach toward self development.
What Dating Yourself Looks Like
It’s simple! Think of what you’d normally do with friends and loved ones. Going to dinner, the movies, the park, to the beach, grabbing coffee– you name it! Except you are doing it by yourself, which forces you to learn who you are without main influences.
If this is a new concept for you, start small like getting coffee or tea. Then slowly work your way into having a meal by yourself, or going to the movies. You’ll start to notice that you aren’t the only ones doing things alone. You’ll also start to notice how freeing it feels and enjoyable it is. You get to do literally anything you want when you want!
What To Pay Attention To
Really note when things make you smile ear to ear. It will be the most random things at times, but by noticing what makes us smile we learn what creates the most joy for us.
I remember just this past month or so, I went to the movies by myself. I bought the ticket for a romantic comedy and at first was so nervous about what everyone will think of me. It was a big holiday night and there I was alone seeing a RomCom. However, the moment I went to see the movie, the people checking me in were super sweet. I ended up sitting near an older group of couples, and there was one other single girl who attended as well. When the film began, I curled up in my chair and was smiling ear to ear.
I was truly happy in a situation that I never thought would make me feel so full of joy. I made a note of it so that next time I know this is what will bring me pure bliss if ever I need it.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, pay attention to those things that cause anxiety or unhappiness. You’ll learn quickly, hey this isn’t my thing and I never have to do this again. Or you’ll discover this isn’t my strength and I’d like to work on becoming better at this. Overall, it’s a great way to learn who you are and develop that unique person without added influences.
Question Of The Day
What would be your dream date with yourself? Let me know in the comments below!