We often hear, “be a good girl, don’t rock the boat.” I would do anything to eradicate that line from life all together. I would like to encourage more women to speak up for themselves and what they believe to be right. It is easy to be intimidated, stay quiet, be appeasing. It’s hard to be courageous, vocal, outspoken. Guess who has more impact on the world though? Who will be remembered longer? Who will create change? Who will be happier? The ones who are authentic and bold. Those who, despite the people around her may say, went for it and stood up for herself.
Today, let’s discuss the importance of standing up for yourself and what is right. It doesn’t need to be on epic proportions, but having your voice heard is vital to feeling our best and living our best lives.
Speak Up For What?
There are a multitude of topics to speak up on, what is it that you feel your voice is meant for? Are you meant to speak up on a particular topic? Are you ready to share a story of recover that may help millions? Or perhaps you are driven to stand up for yourself at work. It may be within your own relationships that your voice needs to be heard more. What is calling your name? What area have you dismissed your opinion and kept quiet? Maybe you are pretty content and have nothing new to share. Maybe you’ve been silenced for so long you have no clue where to start. The best place to start is by meditating and see what comes up. Jot down what topics come to the surface. This may take more than one sessions before you arrive at an area you feel the need to stand up in.
How To Say What You Mean
Have you ever heard the phrase, “say what you mean, but don’t say it meanly.” Basically there are approaches to say exactly what you need without coming off like a bully or provoking a fight. There are ways to express your opinion and ideas that will be heard better by the opposite party. For starters, take time to cool off before launching into an argument. Taking a moment to recoup and think about what you want to say will allow you to comeback and express yourself rationally. The best way to get your point across and heard is to respond not react.
If it is within a work environment where you need to take a stand, write down what facts you like to express in short sentences. Take the emotion out of it if you can, that way it gets straight to the point. If you have a hard time taking the emotions out of it, write in bullet points. That technique forces you to only write down the facts.
If it is with a particular person, don’t bombard them, but ask for a good time to talk. Set aside time to discuss calmly the issues you are having with them. Again, prepare what you want to talk about before going into the meeting. In this case, it is very much appropriate to state how certain actions make you feel. Start by expressing your appreciation for them, if that applies, and then state when certain things happen it makes me feel like this. End by asking, how can we move forward where we both feel respected and prevent this from occuring.
If it is a stranger that is provoking you (in line at the store, on the road, walking down the sidewalk) sometimes the best way to stand up for yourself is not allowing them to get the best of you. Sometimes simply ignoring them, walk away, or quietly dismissing them is the right direction. These people are looking for a reaction from people.
Other times it is appropriate to say something, especially if they are getting into your physical space. You’ll intuitively know what to do. Just remind yourself, that they are a stranger that means absolutely nothing in your life. And that you have options on how you want to handle them. If you feel unsafe, quickly find help. You don’t need to be in any situation where you feel threatened.
Respecting Yourself and Your Boundaries
Here is the thing, some people or companies will not respect your boundaries. In those situations where even after taking a stand, it’s time to walk away. There is no use in beating a dead horse. People will show with actions their willingness to honor you and your boundaries. If they show that despite what you said, there is no change, then it’s not worth your time and energy. Respect yourself and your boundaries enough to leave these types of toxic situations.
Question Of The Day
What helps you to stand up for yourself?