Let’s Get Real

I want to take a moment from my usual articles of fashion and beauty to talk about something very real, and very normal. Often times we look at other people’s photos and think “wow they have a perfect life”. Most times than not, people use social media to censor the bad times and only show the beauty. I don’t fault social media or people.  Instagram and Pinterest have brought a ton of inspiration and support. But I also think it is important to have an outlet or discussion about the rough times, and how normal it is to go through tough events.

In my own life, I have hit many different rough patches through the years. I have gone through dark periods like everyone else. I have watched my parents divorce. I had to organize a memorial service for one of my closest friends at the age of 20. I’ve seen the effects of cancer in my family. I’ve struggled with the real doubt about my career and who I am.

I have felt and gone through life events. The keys word is “felt”. The popular belief in our society is to not feel pain or uncomfortable emotions. We are shown it is better to lock them away, push them down with food, alcohol, drugs, attention from the opposite sex, or achievements. If you are unsure of yourself, just get married. If you don’t like your weight, diet and restrict. If it is too painful, have a drink. Whatever you do, don’t feel these uncomfortable emotions! I don’t believe these solutions work.

What I have learned is that you can never run from sadness, anger, hurt, disappointment. They are with you until you face them. The most amazing part that I learned is when I completely give up trying to run away from the hurt, and just feel it they show me a better way to live. Emotions are normal, the good and bad. They are symbols to show you what works and what doesn’t feel right. They can be the most powerful tools in life to guide you to where you need to be. My darkest moments in life are where I made the greatest changes that have lead to my proudest victories.

I would have never learned about nutrition and what is in our food industry if I didn’t witness cancer first hand. I have an outstanding appreciation for time and ability to see the big picture of life due to losing my best friend. My struggles became my strength once I faced them and felt the emotions attached.

My greatest message to anyone who is facing a dark time, a transition in life is just know it is leading you to a better place. It always works out, it may take time, but it will get better.

If you struggle with clinical depression, addiction, or eating disorders, a counselor or therapist are great tools to help sort through the emotions you are having as well as point you in a direction of recovery. Seeking professional help is nothing to be embarrassed about, but an absolute sign of courage.

I hope this helps someone or opens a discussion that may lead to helping another person. You are always free to discuss what you are feeling on my blog. I want to make it a safe place for everyone to heal and grow. Let’s celebrate the good, and help each other move through the tough.


  1. Thank you for for this post and I hope more will open up about depression and maybe one day in the future, it won’t have such a strong stigma to it anymore. I went through a very dark time in my life when I wanted to end my life so depression is a very sensitive issue to me and one that I care about. I was lucky to fight through it but so many are suffering in silence. 🙁

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

    1. Thank you so much Shireen for sharing! I am happy you made it through as well. No one deserves to go through dark times alone. XO

  2. I think this topic is so important! Social Media is so curated and illusionary. Its a great discussions to start having! We love that your opening up the dialogue about this!

    love from San Francisco,

  3. What a refreshing post to read, it’s admirable how you’re opening up about the issue in a bid to help others – a really lovely thing to have done and taken the time to written about!

    Gabrielle | A Glass Of Ice

  4. The thing is about social media that no one wants to share the dark parts of their life, but it can also be a method to escape that reality. This is such a beautifully honest post, it’s important to recognize the fact that life isn’t all rainbows, butterflies, and pretty outfits lol!

  5. I just keep falling in love with who you are the more I read your articles. Boy do I ever know what you are talking about. Seems like the last 5 years of my life have been “rough patches.” You are right that I just need to actually face my problems instead of trying to suppress them. Facing my problems within its self will help my confidence and just become a stronger person. Thank you, Ellese for the inspiration you provide me.

  6. I really appreciate this. I’ve always been big on “feeling” things, like really feeling them, but lately I’ve been running from the emotions that feel too intense for where I am in life right now. Like uncertainty, doubt, fear. Those are the hardest for me, but embracing them will undoubtedly make overcoming them a lot easier than if I suppress or simply try to bury them. This post was a great reminder for me.

    Thanks for sharing, Ellese.


  7. It’s great to read a really sincere and heartfelt post about something other than shoes, bags, clothes, and events. I’m sorry to hear you went through such a thing, but glad to see it’s brought strength and wisdom into your life. And, kudos to sharing it!

  8. Hey, thank you so much for visiting my blog. Yours is wonderful and I would love to stay in touch! Its always great to find other vegan people. I will now go and check out your post about why you went vegan 🙂
    What about following each other?
    Have a great week ahead a merry Christmas : )

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