Nothing beats a successful first date, especially after all those humdrum dinners that seems like they’ll never end. You may feel as though you’ve finally found your perfect match with the guy who can hold a conversation longer than a minute. There’s that butterfly sensation after leaving the date, where you go home and think about how well the two of you hit it off. You may even fantasize what life together may be like for many years to come.
Feelings like these can boost your confidence to no end. They’re a fantastic reminder of why you’ve spent so long dating in the first place. If it’s been a while since your last relationship, you may even feel like it’s about freaking time! But, then, something happens. Instead of unfolding how you might expect, that dream date starts to go hot and cold. Within a few weeks, he has you confused, knocking your confidence, waiting by the phone, and questioning what you did wrong?
The first thing to remember is that this has nothing to do with you as a person. Also, that there are plenty, and I mean plenty, of men to choose from if this one doesn’t work out. You are a beautiful and strong woman who has every right to find love. In truth, though, dating is a series of meeting different types of individuals until you find a match. Intuitively, you’ll know if he is into you and never have to second guess. He would send you a roses delivery or message straight away. He certainly wouldn’t leave you hanging in the following ways.
Waiting Too Long To Call
No matter how well that date went, he isn’t worth it if he takes ages to call. Admittedly, guys do seem to have some trouble with this. They’ve convinced themselves calling any sooner than three days past the date makes them seem too keen. Let’s be honest; some absence does make the heart grow fonder in the early stages. But, if you have to wait a week or two before hearing anything from him, you may be better off getting rid of his number.
It doesn’t matter if the chemistry was crazy for you; he clearly didn’t feel the same. If he did, you would have been on his mind every second since. Like he’s been on yours! A guy who acts like this after a first date is sure to leave you waiting by the phone throughout your relationship. You don’t need us to tell you that’s no way to happiness. As hard as it might be to accept, it’s time you realized that your possible Prince Charming is just a regular dude after all. Now, put the phone away and forget all about him.
Wanting To See You Straight Away
This may seem contrary to what we’ve said so far, but it’s also worth being wary of the guy who wants to see you again as soon as your first date finishes. It’s always crucial to set healthy boundaries in a relationship. It doesn’t matter how attracted you are to him; an overly assertive guy should be an instant no-go. If he wants to see you every night in the aftermath of your first date, it’s a sure sign he won’t respect your space in a relationship. This is the beginnings of a guy who wants you all to himself, all the time. He won’t understand your need for time alone or evenings off. Of course, it’s difficult to resist this in the early stages. You may want to get lost in him and the new relationship. But, you can bet you would soon lose your sense of self in a relationship which starts like this.
If this isn’t a total turn off for you, at the very least, make your boundaries clear and see how he reacts. Tell him that you can’t see him until a few days later. If he backs off and accepts without argument, give him another shot. If he gets funny or tries to push you into cancelling plans, there’s no way he’s the winner you first thought.
Continuing To See Other People
The period after a first date can be a tricky one to navigate. At this stage, you’re not even seeing each other officially. You have yet to put labels on anything, and it’s too early to figure anything out. As such, you may feel like you have no choice but to accept a guy who continues to see other people after meeting you. He doesn’t owe you anything yet, after all.
But, in your heart of hearts, you probably already know why this is a problem. Sure, you aren’t ‘official’ or anything like that yet. But, if he were as blown away by you as you seem to be by him, he wouldn’t have any interest in other girls. He would’ve potentially cancelled any planned dates. That’s what happens when you meet someone special. Suddenly, everyone else pales in comparison. But, if he’s continuing to see other people after the third or fourth date, he’s still looking for something. And, we hate to break it to you; but that something doesn’t seem to be you. Keep it moving babe, you deserve better.
A Fading Spark
Sometimes, it’s not your date’s actions which spoils the post-date period, but your feelings towards them. Dates are purposefully provocative from a romantic standpoint. Chances are there were flowers, candles, and just the two of you lost in each other. Sometimes, this can make us think that we’re better suited for someone than we actually are. It’s like a trick of love, which can leave us giddy in the direct aftermath of a date.
If those strong feelings start to fade a few days later, it may not be true love after all. If you start running a critical eye over the night or feeling bored when he messages you, then you need to be the one to put an end to things. Keep stringing him along, and you’re no better than all the guys we’ve spoken about in this post. Though it might be tough to imagine, the right guy for you will keep you swooning, even when he isn’t around. As cliche as that sounds, you’ll know what we mean when you finally find him. For now, cut your losses and get back out there.