“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be” – Abraham Lincoln.
This year has been a year of reflection. I have consistently challenged myself with different ideals and ways of thinking. One aspect that I have recently been fascinated in, is cultivating happiness. I began with the question, “Are we capable of being happy no matter what the situation may be?”
Many specialists and psychologist state that it is not only possible, but imperative to feel happy even in the presents of loss or discomfort. The idea is that happiness should not be conditional, nor associated with an object, person, nor situation. When it is associate with an object, our happiness is not stable, instead falters on conditional situations.
My Personal Experience
That had me thinking about all the requirements I have conjured up in my head that I would NEED in order to feel fully satisfied in life. I would like a nice home, a two car garage, a luxury car to fit in that two car garage, and an endless closet of designer goods. I would love financial stability, and a healthy family of my own. I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting these things, but can I not be happy in the meantime? Can I not enjoy the journey on receiving those dreams?
How about losing a loved one? Or a breakup? How does a person recover from grief and turn the situation into a positive moment? These are all the question I had and some that still apply when going on this journey. If you have similar questions, the following is what I have found to gain clarity around a few.
How do you cultivate happiness in any situation
In the book, Letting Go by David R. Hawkins, it states that having attachment to people, places and objects inhibits happiness. That the true sense of happiness comes from within. It states, “By discovering inner love, we rediscover the true source of happiness”. Now, it makes sense that relying on our own source of happiness is far more reliable and stable than relying on other people, places, and object for that eternal joy.
Tony Robbins is infamous for saying, “Life doesn’t happen to you, it is happening for you.” Referring to struggles, or obstacles that may present itself. He interestingly enough had a hard childhood, and instead of allowing it to get the best of him used it as motivation. By changing the perspective on negative situations, it allowed to bring a source of positive energy and happiness.
And grief? David R. Hawkins mentioned that grief when expressed the right way should only last 10-20 minutes at a time. He mentioned how healthy it is for men and women to cry and allow grief to pass. Then refocus the mind to jump from grief to anger ( the feeling of abandonment), to courage, and then finally acceptance.
Is This Possible To Incorporate In Real Life?
That is a question I will leave to you to answer, and feel free to voice your opinions in the comments section below.
For me, I am testing it out and really being mindful of where my thoughts are. I am practicing letting go, instilling more inner happiness, and changing perspective. I am allowing myself to still have goals and dreams but also practicing gratitude for what I currently have. Affirmations have also been a big way of reprogramming my mind from a negative outlook to a positive perspective.
I am eager to hear your thoughts and experiences on this topic. I find it truly fascinating and a bit of a life mystery.